Social Anxiety

Shyness is not the same as social anxiety. People who suffer from social anxiety tend to become extremely anxious when in the company of others. They are acutely uncomfortable if they are to face people in any social context.

Social Anxiety

Everyone feels shy. Feeling shy is normal provided that it is mild and does not interfere with our day-to-day life. Everyone feels slightly worried before meeting someone new. Many of us may become somewhat anxious before an interview or if we were to address an audience from a stage.  However, people who suffer from social anxiety tend to become extremely anxious when in the company of others.  They are acutely uncomfortable if they are to face people in any social context. This is mainly because:

1. They are worried that others are going to become critical of them
2. They are also worried that they will do something that is going to embarrass them

Social Anxiety (or Social Phobia as sometimes referred to)is distressing as it can stop you from enjoying the company of other people that you may begin to avoid social situations entirely and become lonely and feel alienated.

What exactly is Social Anxiety?

There are two types of social anxiety. One is called general social anxiety while the other is known as specific social anxiety

General Social Anxiety

General Social Anxiety is a type of social phobia in which you do things like:

1. Worrying that others are looking at you and that they are noticing what you are doing
2. Resisting being introduced to new people
3. Reluctant  to enter shops and restaurants or where people have assembled
4. Having difficulty  about eating and drinking in a public place
5. Not being able to assert yourself with others, even when it is important for you to  do so

People who suffer from General Social Anxiety generally do not like to attend parties. They are extremely fearful and apprehensive if they have to enter a room filled with people. This is because they feel as if everybody is watching is observing their every action.

Specific Social Anxiety

In Specific Social Anxiety, you don’t want to become the center of attention. This form of social anxiety does not prevent you from socializing with others but it does prevent you from getting up and talking or performing in front of others. It makes you s freeze, stammer, or become tongue-tied. For such persons even standing up and asking a question can be very challenging causing tremendous anxiety.

What kinds of feelings will I experience if I suffer from Social Anxiety?

If you suffer from Social Anxiety, then you will have certain feelings like:

1. You constantly worry that you will embarrass yourself in front of others
2. You worry and think about all the things which could have gone wrong in a social situation
3. You are not able to speak or act confidently even when you know what you have to say or do
4. After a particular event, you continue to think and worry about how you could have done better

What are the symptoms of Social Anxiety?

1. Your mouth turns dry
2. You start to sweat
3. Your heart starts pounding
4. Want to pass urine or ease your bowels
5. You feel numb and experience tingling sensation in your fingers as well as toes
6. You may start to blush
7. You start to stammer
8. You may start to shake and tremble

These are alarming symptoms.  But everyone with Social Anxiety does not experience all the above and may exhibit some symptoms only.

If you suffer from Social Anxiety you may even experience panic attacks. A panic attack lasts briefly, but it does make you feel extremely anxious and terrified. What’s more, it also makes you fear that you are going to lose control over yourself.

How does Social Anxiety affect our self-esteem?

Social Anxiety can affect your self-esteem and self-worth. It makes you worry that other people are thinking that you are a bore and somewhat foolish. It also prevents you from doing normal things that seem to come so naturally to others.  Social Anxiety can also stop you from developing long-term relationships. You assume that others will find you not worthy of their friendship.

It affects five people out of every 100 and women are twice or thrice as likely to suffer from Social Anxiety as compared to men.

Can my Social Anxiety cause any complications?

Social Anxiety can cause complications like:

1. It can also make you feel depressed
2. It can cause Agoraphobia or the fear of being in open spaces. It can  prevent you from leaving your home
3. It can make you use alcohol and drugs as well as tranquillizers to deal with your phobia
4. It can lead to social isolation.

What Causes Social Anxiety?

There is no known reason why a person suffers from social phobia. It could be caused by conditioning of negative, or traumatic experiences during early years. It does seem to affect people who stammered during their childhood or those who have been bullied; and those who are very concerned about meeting high standards of public behaviour. Social anxiety is also caused when a child aged between 3 and 7 becomes stuck with his or her shyness.

Why does Social Anxiety persist?

It persists because of:

1. Our negative and fearful thinking about social situations
2. Seeking out safety behaviour, that is, repeated avoidance of feared social situations so that you feel safe
3. Because we anticipate  anxiety and also conduct post-mortems of  social events that we fear facing

1.     Our Thinking

Before you enter a social situation, you may start thinking in a certain way that in turn makes you feel very anxious. You may be thinking that:

1. You have made strict rules for yourself that you must always follow. You could, for example, be telling yourself that you should always look and act clever
2. You are a boring person
3. You start predicting what is going to happen in future. You fear that when a person gets to know you that they will find out that you are inadequate in some way

You think too much, and you also tend to criticize yourself as well as your behaviour all the time. You also tend to believe that your thoughts are true even though there is no evidence to support that.

2.     Safety behaviour

To control yourself, you do things like:

1. Consume alcohol
2. Do not look others in the eye
3. Select spaces where you have fewer chances  of interacting with others
4. Do not initiate any talk about yourself or your  personal life

3.     Anticipating events and conducting post-mortems

You keep thinking about the social situations you encounter – either before or after – and you over-scrutinize yourself and criticize yourself too much, finding faults with how should or could have behaved or acted.

How can I get help?

You can deal with your Social Anxiety by either helping yourself or by undergoing psychological treatment. To help yourself, you must:

1. If you are normally a very shy person, try to join a group or take classes in  building self-confidence and assertiveness
2. Learn and also use techniques that help you relax. Use books, CDs and other media to help you learn how to overcome your shyness and Social anxiety
3. Keep a log of all the thoughts you have been having about yourself and use this log to help you deal with your Social anxiety
4. Pay more attention to what others are saying instead of focusing all your attention on what you are telling yourself in your mind
5. Try not to use safety behaviours; start with the easiest ones and get rid of them one by one
6. Deconstruct worrying situations into small steps and then try to overcome each step one at a time

It is also possible to help yourself by reading books on self-help. These books will show you how to deal with social anxiety.

Psychological treatment

There are several kinds of psychological treatments including:

1. Improving your social skills

It is important that you learn how to improve your social skills. Learning these skills is recommended, as they will teach you how to relax and feel more confident in other people’s company. It also pays to learn skills that teach you how to initiate a conversation with a complete stranger. To develop your social skills, try and make videos of yourself. Use these videos to both find out what you did in a particular situation and how it is possible to handle the same situation in a better way.

2. Expose yourself to situations and people gradually

Gradual exposure to situations and people help because no matter how frightened you may be feeling about a situation when you enter the situation your anxiety starts to disappear slowly. Being exposed to social situations and people will help you overcome your phobia and fears.You can do this in a gradual step by step manner, starting with the least threatening situation to the most.Work through the entire list and then tackle and solve each frightening situation one by one.

3. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)

CBT is the most effective and proven form of treatment for Social Anxiety.  CBT helps by making you alter your thinking about your own perceptions of social situations and people you tend to have apprehensions about. Your therapist can help you by:

1. Improving your awareness of the unhelpful rules that you have made for yourself.
2. Making you aware that you are using safety behaviours to cope with your condition
3. Showing you how your behaviour and thinking are making things more difficult for you

Medications

Medications like anti-depressants, beta-blockers and tranquillizers can also help you overcome your Social Anxiety. These can be prescribed by your psychiatrist in addition to other ongoing CBT therapy.

Will these treatments succeed in curing my Social Anxiety?

Self-help measures, books and CDs are all quite effective treatment options.

About fifty percent of Social Anxiety patients respond to gradual self-exposure. CBT is more effective than SSRI medications and therefore it should be tried before you resort to taking medications. All the above options are certainly effective means for almost complete recovery from Social Anxiety Disorder.